Verbal Abuse

Verbally abusive women usually do not change. Even men are affected with verbal abuse. 
Verbal abusers usually feel that they are attacked by their spouses personhood, success or even happiness. Men usually complain less than women because they are taught to be protective of their partners. Verbally abusive women have lost the great feminine qualities like warmth, receptivity, nurturing qualities and emotional intelligence. They also have lost their masculine side, confidence, self esteem, and action orientation. Girls 16-19 experience the second highest rate of nonfatal intimate partner violence. Verbal abusers try to control their partners.
Name calling is easy to recognize. Idiot, dummy, bitch etc.
Less obvious forms are, one-upmanship, defeating, putting down, topping, countering, manipulating, criticizing, hard selling,
Abused person mostly get upset over the words. Usually it is about nothing important. Abuser takes opposite view on almost everything.
Abused one feels thrown off balance, feels lost, caught off guard, disconnected, confused, disoriented.
Abused one fears asking for clarification, feels being pushed around.
The partner may become sarcastic when confronted.
Power over is the paradigm of the abuser.
Verbal abuse starts with toxic method of teaching or raising a child.  Called personal pedagogy. Abuser lives in a different reality of dominance and control.
Abuser has no personal power. He rejects partners warmth and openness which he fears in himself. Frequently verbal abusers profess their love verbally as well confusing the issue. 
Some features of the verbal abuser, irritable, blame mate for outbursts, unpredictable, angry, intense, unaccepting, unexpressive, controlling, silent, nice guy to others, competitive.  sullen, jealous, quick with comebacks, critical, manipulative, explosive, hostile, unexpressive. 
Abusive relationship has these qualities, inequality, competition, manipulation, hostility, control negation.
It lacks these, equality, partnership, mutuality, goodwill, intimacy, validation.
Abuser may give disastrous outcomes to plans of the abused at all times.
Intimacy is difficult in an abusive relationship. Intimacy needs mutuality which requires goodwill, openness, and willingness to share oneself.
Validation is not present. Validation is positive affirmation of the other.
Abused person has a distrust of her spontaneity, loss of enthusiasm, concern that something is wrong with self, loss of self esteem and self confidence, anxiety and fear of being crazy, reluctance to come to conclusions, desire to run away, tendency to live in the future distrust of her relationships.
Usually verbal abuse does not take place if somebody else is around.
Verbal abuse can be overt or covert. IT can sound very sincere. Always manipulative and controlling,
Verbal abuse escalates to physical abuse slowly. Verbal abuser can withhold information for a long time.  Partner may think that they are reserved or even slightly autistic.
Countering all beliefs is another common form of verbal abuse.
Cliché's which are myth.  It takes two. Love conquers all.  You can rise above it.  Be glad you have a roof over your head. A woman has to give a little more than a man.  Be nice to people and they will be nice to you.  Never give up.

To correct abusive behavior.  Start counseling. Set Limits. Set limits strongly without accepting anything else. Carry enough money and keep phone numbers of friends. Leave from any situation you don't have to be in.
Countering is countered by politely asking to stop repeatedly. If somebody is judging you or criticizing you make a comment to stop it and then leave the area.
Most abusers had an indifferent, absent, uninvolved or angry father.  It could have been another significant adult in their life. In some cases of severe verbal abuse and especially when associated with physical abuse divorce may be the only option.